Small Steps, Big Difference
You don’t need all the answers right now, you just need to take one step.
One action, one healing choice can bring clarity - like a flashlight on a dark path.
Things will start making more sense, with each baby step.
Take Your Next Step
Support &
Ministries
Finding the right support truly feels like a candle in darkness.
Pure Desire Ministries is a Christian organization based in Oregon that is dedicated to helping people find healing from the effects of sexual addiction, pornography, and betrayal. Through biblically grounded teaching, support groups, counseling resources, podcasts, YouTube, books, and online courses, Pure Desire equips people to pursue lasting freedom, restoration, and healthy relationships.
One of Pure Desire's greatest strengths is its structured support groups. Their Betrayal & Beyond groups provide a safe, compassionate environment where women impacted by a spouse's sexual addiction or infidelity can process their pain, gain understanding, and find hope alongside others who truly understand. They also offer groups and resources for men seeking recovery, couples pursuing restoration, and leaders who want to establish healing ministries within their churches.
Having personally participated in and later facilitated Pure Desire's Betrayal & Beyond ministry for many years, I have witnessed the life-changing impact of these groups on countless women and families.
The turning point for my husband was when he joined a 7 Pillars group, which is also offered by Pure Desire Ministries.
Our (old) church in Everett, WA (New Life Foursquare) still runs these groups and occasionally offers conferences or additional Pure Desire courses. I’m excited that the women’s ministry has recently started groups in Spanish. This is the church ministry that helped me and that I ended up leading with for over 15 years, so it is dear to my heart. Find out more about their in person (local) groups here: https://newlifeeverett.org/recovery/
The Pure Desire group options are growing and available all over the world now. Here is a link to their church led support groups: https://www.puredesire.org/groups/local
I really can’t say enough good things about this ministry, I so fully appreciate them and love so many people who work with this ministry and have been helped by it.
Even though I will be offering my own books and support options, I will continue to refer women (and their husbands) to this ministry when they are ready for more intensive support.
Be sure to check out their videos on YouTube, and take a look at their online resources.
Prodigals International
Prodigals International is a Christ-centered ministry located in Washington state that specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families recover from the effects of sexual brokenness through a unique Christian 12-step approach. Their ministry emphasizes authentic community, mentor relationships, accountability, and long-term transformation rooted in God's grace.
For women impacted by a spouse’s sexual addiction, or infidelity, their Partners in Process ministry offers mentor-led support groups, one-on-one mentoring, coaching, and practical resources designed to help women find their voice, understand betrayal trauma, and discover that they are not responsible for their partner's choices. Both online and in-person groups are available in many locations.
I have met a couple of the people involved with this ministry and they are wonderful people. I’ve gone to conferences led by them, and have friends who have benefited from their counseling. They recently added an app you can check out on their site. I’m excited to see them grow.
Here is a link to their website page that offers many former conference recordings you can listen to:
https://prodigalsinternational.org/prodigals-podcasts-conference-audio-recordings/
Finding a safe place to heal is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself after betrayal.
Unfortunately, many women discover that finding an experienced Christian counselor or an in-person support group for sexual addiction and betrayal trauma can be difficult. The good news is that the ministries listed above offer excellent online support and resources, no matter where you live.
My hope is to grow this site into a trusted directory of Christian based support and resources for women and couples across the country.
If you know of an excellent Christian counselor, support group, ministry, or church that offers betrayal-related support—or if your church is interested in starting a group—I would love to hear from you. Together, we can help more people find the support they need.
Recommended Podcasts
The podcasts below have been recommended by women in the betrayal healing community who found them helpful. I hope they provide additional encouragement, perspective, and hope as you continue your healing journey. As always, let Scripture be your foundation as you discern what is most helpful, and I appreciate feedback and suggestions!
Java with Judi
From her site:
We believe that God intentionally created us as sexual beings, that every sexual choice is a spiritual choice, that sexuality is a powerful metaphor, and that Satan intentionally works to destroy the holy expression of sexuality.uthentic Intimacy is a unique teaching ministry devoted to teaching on God’s design for intimacy and sexuality. Our vision is represented by two words that are rarely put together: sexual discipleship.
Practically everyone, young and old, single and married, has experienced pain, shame, and confusion related to sexuality. We want men and women to understand God’s purpose and redemption related to their sexuality. As a ministry, we disciple by consistently applying God’s Truth to all questions, pain, and joys related to sexuality and intimacy.
Authentic Intimacy
With the Perrys
With The Perrys is a podcast with a whole lot of truth given in a short amount of time. Preston Perry and Jackie Hill Perry will bring their humor, honesty, and insight into conversations on everything from relationships and theology to politics, race, and parenting.
Therapy Brothers
A weekly call-in show about real healing after betrayal, broken trust, and addiction.
I haven’t listened to this podcast much myself yet…but it has been recommended to me by a friend. Real conversations with 2 brothers who are both counselors. Not sure about their beliefs.
(Let me know what you think!)
Michelle Mays is an author, innovator and counselor guided by the belief that all change happens in relationship. This relational orientation has directed over two decades of experience articulating new models and approaches for the treatment of individuals and couples impacted by sexual betrayal and trauma. Michelle is the author of The Betrayal Bind and the creator of the Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model™. She designed the premier online coaching program for betrayed partners and is the founder of the Relational Recovery Institute in Leesburg, Virginia. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington, DC, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor and is completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology.